Dear Inklings,
This is a short one, but it does come with good news. I'm pleased to say that August went much better than July. For a few reasons, but the main one was getting about three weeks of a break, one that I've needed for months.
I left my last job on August 11th. I knew that I had until the end of August before money would run out and I would need a new job. Fortunately, about two days into that break, I heard back about the job I was really hoping to get - and I got it! Without getting into names and specifics, it has a lot of what I enjoyed about my last job but no weekends or closing shifts, and no four hour tech support calls.
So with that stress resolved, I had the remaining two and a half weeks to refuel. And I cannot tell you how much I needed that.
If you've been following me for a while, you know writing has been...hard. For a while. I used to be the writer who felt like the now defunct NaNoWriMo was too easy. Even after I lost some of that stamina, I wrote and published The Wounds of Wisdom within a span of about two years. The words flowed out of me. Even on bad days, I loved being in that world and with those characters enough to keep going.
I published it. And then...I moved. Twice. I changed careers to one where I had a lot less time to write. I had a lengthy and difficult breakup. But even before all of those things, I was flagging from that second book slump. It feels like I've been rolling downhill and that hill has spikes and ditches along its path that are never enough to stop my descent, but are definitely enough to hurt.
And I have been writing pretty much every day. It just feels like it's so little and it goes nowhere. I've tried a number of things to try to get my love of writing back. I got into solo TTRPGs. I revitalized my writing Discord server. I wrote with friends. Those things have all helped, but at a certain point, they were drops in the bucket that was my burnout. I needed everything else to stop for a bit so I could just be a creative person for a little bit and remember how to do it.
And then I finally got that break. For three weeks, my only responsibility was to feed my cats and to be a creator. I didn't have to squeeze writing, or game plotting, or just relaxing into the few hours I had after work. I got to do it when and where I wanted. And it was...really good.
It was also hard at points. Without being exhausted from work, I had to really reconcile with the ways that I don't have the stamina to write the way I did in my early twenties. I had to face all my fears that I would never finish anything ever again. And then after I was done despairing, I had time to get back to writing. I finished a chapter I had been stuck on, and I began zipping along the next chapter. It actually feels a bit like it did with Wounds, when the words would flow out of me. I don't know if that will stay. But I'm happy with it for now.
And it showed. I had my best writing month this year so far. Not that it was very much, or even much more than my May wordcount: I beat it by 35 words, 17,795 instead of 17,760. Look, it doesn't seem like much, but May was a good month for me, so I'll take it.
I'm back to work now. I had my first day today. I like the hours better, and I certainly like that it's fully remote. I am worried about burnout coming back. There have been so many ups and downs over the past few years. But right now, I feel like I'm in a good place with the story and I'm eager to continue.
I'm also delighted that August is OVER. Sure, it's going to be just as hot tomorrow (90 degrees), but now it's September. The worst of the year is over! Are you excited about fall, my inklings? I certainly am.
Until then,
Alex
